The Art of Communication
Maximum Life: Unlocking Your Full Potential in 2025
Excerpted from Maximum Life: Unlocking Your Full Potential Through Inner Growth, Momentum, and Impact by Iann Schonken at Amazon.com.
If human relationships are woven together by connection, then communication serves as the unifying thread. We use communication to express our thoughts, feelings, and priorities every day. It’s how we build trust. This is the process by which we resolve conflicts. This principle also applies to the sharing of love. It’s no exaggeration to say that communication is the foundation for a thriving life.
In this session, we’re exploring the art of communication—what it really means to communicate eloquently, how to strengthen our verbal and nonverbal skills, and why listening might just be the most powerful form of connection we have.
What Communication Really Is
At its core, communication is simply the exchange of information between people. But it’s so much more than words. It includes body language, tone, gestures, eye contact, and silence. Yes, even silence communicates something.
When done well, communication builds bridges. It brings clarity. It fosters understanding. It makes others feel seen and heard. But when it breaks down? Misunderstandings grow, conflicts simmer, and relationships suffer.
George Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ¹ Isn’t that the truth? How often have we thought we made ourselves clear, only to discover later that the other person heard something entirely different?
That's why learning to communicate well is one of the best things we can do for our careers, families, and personal growth. Communication touches everything.
Why It Matters So Much
There are three big reasons why communication is essential.
First, it builds trust. Clear, honest communication is the foundation of strong relationships. When we speak with transparency and listen with compassion, we create safe spaces for others to do the same.
Second, it fuels teamwork. In both personal and professional settings, communication helps us collaborate, share ideas, solve problems, and move forward together. Good communication is like oil in a machine—it keeps everything running smoothly.
And third, it resolves conflict. No relationship is free from disagreement. But how we communicate during tension determines whether we grow stronger or pull apart. Open, respectful dialogue is what transforms friction into forward motion.
Conversely, inadequate communication can undermine even the strongest of relationships. Misunderstandings multiply. Frustration builds. Productivity drops. That’s why improving how we communicate isn’t just helpful—it’s vital.
Tony Robbins put it this way: “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” ² And that includes the way we speak to ourselves. Our inner dialogue often shapes how we show up with others.
How to Grow in Communication
Communication is a skill. Like any other skill, you can improve it with intention and practice.
It begins with listening. However, this is not the passive, “uh-huh” type of listening. We’re talking about active listening—where your whole body leans in, your mind focuses, and your heart tunes in to what the other person is saying.
Stephen Covey said it best: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ³
Let that sink in. Understanding must come before responding. When we slow down and really hear someone—without judgment or interruption—we build trust and connection in powerful ways.
Another vital skill is clarity. Great communicators know how to get to the point without being cold. They use simple, direct language, free from jargon. Their words make people feel informed, not confused. They leave little room for misinterpretation because they choose clarity over complexity.
And please keep in mind what your body is saying. Facial expressions, posture, and eye contact—they all communicate. If your words say one thing, but your body says another, people will believe you. Being aware of your nonverbal signals—and aligning them with your message—strengthens your impact.
Empathy is another cornerstone. When we try to understand someone else’s emotions or experiences—even if we haven’t lived them ourselves—we create space for connection. Brené Brown describes empathy as “listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’” ⁴ That’s a game changer.
Are you genuinely dedicated to growth? Ask for feedback. Invite a trusted friend, spouse, or coworker to share how they experience your communication. What comes naturally? What could use work? Occasionally, a new viewpoint can lead to a more profound understanding of oneself.
Communication at Work
In professional spaces, communication is everything. It’s the difference between a healthy team and a toxic one. It makes the difference between collaboration and confusion. There is a clear distinction between progress and stagnation.
Start by fostering open dialogue. When people feel safe to share their thoughts and concerns, innovation flows. Problems get solved. Trust deepens. That kind of culture starts with leaders who communicate clearly, listen well, and value input from everyone—especially the quiet voices.
Technology has also changed how we communicate. Tools like email, messaging apps, and video calls can be powerful—when used wisely. But don’t let convenience replace connection. Face-to-face communication, even virtually, carries nuances that texts can’t. The best leaders balance both with intention.
Make sure everyone has a voice. In meetings and discussions, draw out perspectives from the whole team—not just the loudest ones. When people feel heard, they’re more engaged and more committed.
And remember, effective communication means clear expectations. When providing directions or assigning tasks, please be specific. Leave room for questions. Don’t assume understanding—confirm it.
And here’s something we often forget: celebrate. A simple “great job” or “thank you” can uplift morale and inspire excellence. Recognition communicates value—and that matters more than we realize.
Communication at Home
If communication builds great teams, it builds great families too. In our homes, how we speak to one another shapes everything from our daily peace to our deepest bonds.
Relationships thrive when we listen well, express appreciation often, and address conflict gently. When family members feel heard, they’re more likely to open up and connect.
Strong friendships work the same way. They’re built on trust, honesty, and the freedom to be vulnerable. Share your real thoughts and feelings. Be the kind of friend who listens without fixing and speaks without judging.
Please keep in mind the importance of self-expression. We all have thoughts and emotions that need to be communicated. Learn to articulate them in ways that invite understanding, not defensiveness. The more clearly you can express yourself, the more connected you’ll feel with those around you.
And finally, cultivate an environment where healthy communication is the norm. Encourage honest dialogue. Model respect. Set the tone with kindness. That’s how a family—or a friendship, or a household—grows in trust and love.
A Final Word
The ability to communicate is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. It’s not just a tool—it’s a responsibility. And it’s a powerful way to love others well.
Proverbs 18:21 says it plainly: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” What we say—and how we say it—matters. Our words can either build up or tear down. Heal or hurt. Connect or divide.
So today, take stock. How are you communicating—with your spouse, your kids, your team, your friends, even yourself? Where can you grow?
Communication, when rooted in love and guided by wisdom, has the power to transform not just conversations—but lives.
¹ George Bernard Shaw, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/george_bernard_shaw_385438.
² Tony Robbins, “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/tony_robbins_147783.
³ Stephen Covey, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://x.com/StephenRCovey/status/1186644009210515458?lang=en.
⁴ Brené Brown, “Empathy is simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://institutesuccess.com/library/empathy-is-simply-listening-holding-space-withholding-judgment-emotionally-connecting-and-communicating-that-incredibly-healing-message-of-youre-not-alone-brene-brown/.
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