Mastering the Appetite: The Power of Self-Control and Moderation
Maximum Life: Unlocking Your Full Potential in 2025
Excerpted from Maximum Life: Unlocking Your Full Potential Through Inner Growth, Momentum, and Impact by Iann Schonken at Amazon.com.
We all have appetites.
Some are obvious—like hunger and physical desire. Others are more subtle—like the craving for attention, validation, or material comfort. These appetites in and of themselves are not wrong. They’re a part of being human. But when left unchecked, they can quietly grow into forces that sabotage our health, disrupt our relationships, and steal our peace.
Self-control doesn’t mean deprivation—it means direction. And moderation isn’t about missing out—it’s about thriving within balance.
In this edition, we explore how managing our appetites can unlock clarity, discipline, and deep, lasting fulfillment.
Why Self-Control Matters
At its core, self-control is the ability to govern your impulses. It’s saying “no” to what feels good in the moment so you can say “yes” to what matters most in the long run. It’s choosing discipline over indulgence. Focus over distraction. Prioritize purpose over impulse.
As Plato once said, “The first and best victory is to conquer self.” ¹
Learning to manage your appetites isn’t about being hard on yourself—it’s about aligning your life with your values. It’s about refusing to be ruled by fleeting desires or external pressures.
Why does this issue matter so much?
Self-control promotes your health—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Excess, especially when habitual, takes a toll on your body, mind, and relationships. Whether it’s overeating, overspending, or overreacting, the cost of unchecked appetites is always greater than the momentary pleasure they bring.
Self-control also builds inner strength. When you practice restraint, you develop resilience. You become the kind of person who can face discomfort, delay gratification, and stick with a vision—long after the initial spark fades.
And perhaps most importantly, self-control keeps your focus sharp. In a noisy world full of temptation and distraction, the ability to stay grounded in what matters most is a superpower.
As Lao Tzu put it, “He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.” ²
The Daily Battle with Desire
You know this battle. We all do.
The decision to eat one more helping when you’re already full. The impulse to purchase an unnecessary item solely for the purpose of feeling better is also present. The urge to lash out emotionally instead of pausing to respond thoughtfully is also present. These little moments, repeated often enough, shape the story of our lives.
That’s why awareness is key. When we’re mindful of what we’re feeling, craving, and doing, we give ourselves space to choose differently. Jon Kabat-Zinn captured it well when he said, “Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” ³
And when you know what you’re doing, you’re more likely to choose what’s best, not just what’s easy.
But knowledge alone isn’t enough. Self-control is also about building supportive structures—healthy habits, wise boundaries, trusted people who walk with you, and moments of honest reflection.
James Clear nailed it when he wrote, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” ⁴
You don’t need more willpower. You need better systems. If you’ve struggled to control your appetites, it’s not because you’re weak—it’s because you haven’t yet built the supports that lead to success.
And that’s good news. Systems can be built. People have the ability to learn habits. Change is possible.
Real Life Applications
Self-control touches every area of life. It shows up when you choose a balanced meal instead of fast food. It appears when you walk past that clearance rack without impulse buying. It’s there when you take a deep breath instead of snapping back in anger.
In your health, it means making choices that nourish your body—movement, sleep, nutrition, and hydration. These aren’t glamorous, but they’re powerful. When practiced with consistency, they bring transformation.
In your finances, self-control is the quiet discipline of budgeting, saving, giving, and resisting that Amazon click at 11 p.m. It involves comprehending the long-term perspective and demonstrating patience.
Emotionally, it means choosing to pause before reacting. It’s writing in a journal, taking a walk, or calling a friend instead of numbing out with TV or food. Emotional self-regulation is a crucial aspect of mature adulthood.
Relationally, self-control builds trust. It’s how you honor others’ boundaries, manage your own needs, and cultivate deep, lasting connections.
And professionally? Self-control is focus. It’s putting your phone away during deep work. It’s resisting procrastination. It’s showing up on time, doing the hard thing, and finishing strong—even when no one is watching.
The Gift of Moderation
While self-control is about restraint, moderation is about rhythm. It’s not just avoiding extremes—it’s finding the sweet spot where you can enjoy life’s blessings without being mastered by them.
There’s wisdom in Hesiod’s ancient phrase: “Moderation in all things.” ⁶
You don’t need to cut out every pleasure. You just need to enjoy them in ways that align with your purpose and promote your peace. One cookie? Lovely. A dozen? Painful. Would you mind taking a few hours of rest? Rejuvenating. Is a weekend of Netflix and chips truly rejuvenating? Perhaps the experience wasn't as rejuvenating as you had anticipated.
Moderation is how we keep joy from becoming addiction. It’s how we keep freedom from becoming chaos. We learn to appreciate the blessings God has bestowed upon us without succumbing to them.
Walking It Out
This journey of appetite mastery is not about perfection—it’s about progress. You’ll have days where you get it wrong. That’s part of the process. But over time, as you lean into these truths and put simple practices into place, you’ll notice a change.
You’ll feel stronger, more centered, and more in control of your life—not in a rigid way, but in a way that feels peaceful and intentional.
And when you look back, you’ll realize something beautiful: you didn’t just conquer your cravings. You built character. You grew in wisdom. You found freedom—not in indulgence, but in restraint.
As Proverbs 25:28 reminds us, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” (NIV)
Walls protect. Boundaries bless. Self-control shields you from harm and positions you for peace.
Final Thoughts
So today, take a breath. Tune in to what your appetites are whispering. And remember: you are not a slave to your cravings. You were made for more.
Self-control is not about saying no to everything. It’s about saying yes to what matters most.
Let moderation guide you. Let boundaries protect you. Let reflection shape you. And let self-control strengthen you—day by day, decision by decision.
¹ Plato, “The first and best victory is to conquer self.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://x.com/carolyn660/status/1782726173711106260
² Lao Tzu, “He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/lao_tzu_383760
³ Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://quotefancy.com/quote/1283051/Jon-Kabat-Zinn-Mindfulness-means-being-awake-It-means-knowing-what-you-are-doing
⁴ James Clear, “You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://jamesclear.com/quotes/you-do-not-rise-to-the-level-of-your-goals-you-fall-to-the-level-of-your-systems
⁵ Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/104cm3i/the_unexamined_life_is_not_worth_living_socrates
⁶ Hesiod, “Moderation in all things.” Accessed July 10, 2024. https://www.oxfordreference.com/display/10.1093/oi/authority.20110810105420435