Deal with Hopelessness
Excerpt from my recent book entitled, “Toxic Emotions: A Biblical Guide To Emotional Freedom.
Hopelessness is a quiet thief. It doesn’t storm in with noise or drama; instead, it slowly seeps into our hearts, dulling our senses and muting our expectations. It drains our energy, clouds our vision for the future, and undermines our ability to trust in God’s promises. It whispers that tomorrow won’t be any different from today and that perhaps even God has forgotten us.
While hope is the anchor that keeps us grounded through life’s storms, hopelessness untethers us from everything stable, leaving us to drift in waters of uncertainty. When left unchecked, this emotion can become toxic, eroding our faith, joy, and even our will to keep moving forward.
Hopelessness doesn’t just come from one tragic event. It often accumulates over time—small disappointments, prolonged suffering, unmet expectations. When we’ve cried out to God and the situation hasn’t changed, when we’ve hoped for healing that hasn’t come, or longed for restoration that still feels far away, the heart begins to falter.
We start to question whether we were foolish to hope in the first place. Toxic hopelessness sets in when we stop believing that anything can change—when the light at the end of the tunnel goes out, and we are left stumbling in the dark.
But Scripture offers us another story. The Bible doesn’t minimize hopelessness. In fact, it gives voice to it through the lament of the psalmist, the anguish of the prophets, and even the agony of Jesus Himself. Yet, it also presents a God who meets us in our despair, who breathes new life into our weary souls, and who renews our strength when we have nothing left to give. As Romans 15:13 (NIV) declares, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
Hope, as the Bible presents it, is not a naive optimism. It’s not wishful thinking or denial of the pain we’re facing. Rather, it is a powerful force grounded in the unchanging character of God. It is rooted in His faithfulness, His promises, and His sovereign love.
Hope dares to believe that God is still working, even when we can’t see it. It holds onto the truth that our story isn’t over and that God, the Author and Finisher of our faith, is still writing the next chapter.
Let’s take a deep and honest look at the causes of hopelessness, the dangers it poses when it becomes toxic, and the biblical path to restoring hope in our lives. Whether you’re battling silent despair or trying to help someone else find their way out of the darkness, there is healing and light to be found. And it begins with understanding.
Hopelessness is more than sadness or discouragement. It’s a condition of the heart where the belief that things will get better has been extinguished. The psalmist captures this struggle in Psalm 42:5 (NIV), asking, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
This verse reflects both the pain of hopelessness and the key to overcoming it: a deliberate redirection of the heart toward God.
One of the clearest sources of hopelessness is unmet expectations. When life doesn’t unfold the way we imagined, when prayers go unanswered or dreams are shattered, a deep ache settles into our souls. Naomi, in the book of Ruth, experienced this grief. After losing her husband and both sons, she returned to Bethlehem broken.
In Ruth 1:20–21 (NIV), she said, “Don’t call me Naomi… Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty.”
Naomi’s hopelessness was so profound that she changed her name, redefining her identity based on her suffering. And yet, God was not finished with her story. Though she couldn’t see it, hope was already on its way—through Ruth, and eventually, through the lineage of the Messiah.
Another source of hopelessness is prolonged suffering. Chronic illness, financial hardship, infertility, broken relationships—when hardship drags on without resolution, it begins to wear down even the strongest spirit. We see this in the story of Job. After losing his family, his health, and his wealth, Job reached a point of despair so deep that he cursed the day he was born. “May the day of my birth perish,” he said in Job 3:3 (NIV).
He could not fathom that his suffering had a purpose. But God had not abandoned Job. Behind the scenes, there was a divine conversation taking place—a redemptive arc unfolding that would culminate in restoration.
Sometimes hopelessness grows from a distorted understanding of who God is. We may begin to see Him as distant, disinterested, or even cruel. The Israelites, during their exile in Babylon, struggled with these thoughts. They believed God had forgotten them. But in response, God says in Isaiah 49:15–16 (NIV), “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast… Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”
These words reveal the depths of God’s care and remind us that even in seasons of silence, we are never abandoned.
Hopelessness can also be fueled by focusing solely on our circumstances rather than on the God who stands above them. Peter experienced this vividly when he stepped out of the boat to walk on water. As long as he kept his eyes on Jesus, he walked in faith. But the moment he focused on the wind and waves, he began to sink. “Lord, save me!” he cried out in Matthew 14:30 (NIV).
Hopelessness creeps in when we stop looking at Jesus and start measuring our future based on our fears.
When hopelessness becomes toxic, it moves from being a temporary feeling to a defining force. It begins to shape our beliefs, decisions, and identity. One of the greatest dangers of toxic hopelessness is that it leads to despair—a condition where we see no path forward. Proverbs 13:12 (NIV) acknowledges this pain:
“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.”
A sick heart loses its ability to dream, to trust, or to believe in change.
Another danger is that hopelessness can hinder our faith. It breeds spiritual apathy and silence. We may stop praying, stop reading Scripture, or stop going to church. We distance ourselves from the very Source of the hope we so desperately need. The Israelites, weary from their wilderness journey, questioned why God had delivered them from Egypt if they were only going to suffer. “Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place?” they asked in Numbers 20:5 (NIV).
Their focus on their discomfort caused them to forget the miracles God had already done.
Hopelessness also isolates. Elijah, after his dramatic confrontation with the prophets of Baal, ran in fear and despair. He withdrew into the wilderness and asked God to take his life. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said in 1 Kings 19:4 (NIV).
Elijah believed he was the only one left who was faithful. But God corrected him and gently provided for his needs—rest, food, and truth. Elijah wasn’t alone, and neither are we. But when hopelessness speaks louder than truth, it convinces us that we are.
And the toll is not only spiritual or emotional. It touches the body. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV) says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Toxic hopelessness can lead to fatigue, insomnia, illness, and depression. The body feels what the soul carries.
But there is good news. God does not intend for us to live in hopelessness. He is the God of restoration, and through His Word, He provides a path toward renewed hope.
The first step is to refocus on God’s promises. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) is not just a feel-good verse; it’s a declaration to a people in exile:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
When we fix our eyes on God’s unchanging Word, our hearts begin to shift. We remember that He has a purpose and plan, even in the wilderness.
Next, we must bring our hopelessness to God in prayer. The Psalms are full of raw, honest prayers from people who were not afraid to say how they really felt. David wrote in Psalm 34:18 (NIV), “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
God invites us to bring our sorrow, not to hide it. Prayer is not a performance; it’s a pouring out.
Community also plays a vital role. When hopelessness tells us to isolate, we need to do the opposite. Hebrews 10:24–25 (NIV) reminds us to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds… encouraging one another.”
Hope is contagious. When we surround ourselves with faith-filled people, their strength lifts us when we can’t lift ourselves.
We must also intentionally recall God’s faithfulness in the past. Lamentations 3:21–23 (NIV) says, “Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed… great is your faithfulness.”
Your past testimonies are anchors for your future storms. Remember what God has done, and let it stir your confidence that He will do it again.
And finally, we must anchor ourselves in eternal hope. Hebrews 6:19 (NIV) says, “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”
No matter what happens in this life, our eternal hope in Christ is unshakable. This world is not our final home, and no pain here can rob us of what Christ has secured for us.
Consider Hannah. In her barren season, her soul was crushed. But she poured out her heart to God in the temple. And God heard her. Or Paul, who endured shipwrecks, beatings, imprisonment—yet wrote of joy and perseverance because his hope was rooted in heaven.
Hope doesn’t deny pain—it defies it.
Hope doesn’t erase suffering—it outlasts it.
Hope, in the hands of God, becomes the seed of resurrection.
It's time to hope again. Lift your eyes to the hills, from where your help comes. Let hope arise—not from circumstances but from the unshakable truth that God is with you, for you, and working all things for your good. You are not forgotten. Your story is not over. And even now, God is writing redemption into your future!
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Iann Schonken
Excellent word!